Life Goes Retrograde

By Bernadette Bowman, Comedienne and LuxEco Advocate who writes the LIFE GOES RETROGRADE series.

Fire! Aim! Ready!

Or as Willie Wonka would say, “Strike that.  Reverse it!”

Especially this weekend when, once again, my pretties, Mercury goes Retrograde, for the second time this year.

Most of my friends duck and cover for three weeks when they hear the phrase “Oh, sh*t…..Mercury’s going into retrograde….again?!”

For those of us unaware of this phenomenon, Mercury in Retrograde sends people screaming (a lot), sleeping (a lot), or lighting (a lot) of candles purchased at the Bodhi Tree or Psychic Eye.

Why?

Well, mostly to ward off the evils (saying and hearing things which aren’t meant to be said or heard the way they come out – fun!) and inconveniences (electronic and mechanical…especially everyone’s favorite – computer problems – ugh) of this planetary annoyance that happens three or four times a year.

According to astute and trusted sources in the world of astrology, the best explanation goes something like this:

The best mode to be in during a Mercury Retrograde is one of “non-reaction”, and with earth signs being impacted, physical environment will be changing continually during a Mercury Retrograde. Treat the time period as a time of gathering information, yet because the information will be in constant change it would be like trying to comb your hair in a windstorm. Best to wait until the changes stop before attempting to make things orderly. Therefore, just let the winds of situations blow around you without reacting. Once Mercury turns direct, take a look at the information that is still around at that time and go about putting everything in order, while maintaining the fine art of flexibility.

(And feel free to get an explanation worthy of college credit by visiting www.astrology.com)

But before you grab those Girl Scout cookies you still have in the freezer and pull the covers over your head, I’m here to tell you that there is hope. I’ve always believed that the whole punch line and message of making the most of this tricky time is to take advantage of the opportunity to “Re” everything in your life.

Re-view. Re-assess. Re-flect. Re-member. Re-treat. Re-call. Re-coil.  Re-organize. Re-gurgitate. Re-create. Re-boot. Re-invent. And maybe even …could it really happen?! …..Re-joice and re-surrect.

So here’s the deal: For the past year, my life been in retrograde. This is the only way to describe it (without a really tall glass of wine to help me interpret).

And I know I’m not alone!!

Baby Boomers brought up on Disney movies with happy endings, can I get an “Amen!”?

It seems that everything we counted on, believed in, and wanted to happen.. did not happen …but many things that we didn’t want to happen, didn’t plan on happening, had no idea could possibly happen (control freaks, unite!)… absolutely did.  Crazy.

For me, personally, there was no use in having any expectations about anything or anyone this past year. I fought it and fought it. I refused to believe that at forty-eight I’d have to figure out a way to re-invent myself (yet again!) after being an active member of the workforce since I was sixteen. But here I am:

Re-evaluating the entire experience of what it’s like to have your LIFE GO RETROGRADE.

And blessedly, after months of digging in my heels and refusing to allow myself to “grow with the flow” and choosing (not without a fight, since I kinda like pain) to stop smacking my head against a wall and asking “Why, God, whyyyy?!,” I’ve finally realized that what I perceived as the lack of what was required for me to have a nice life was all an illusion.

This past year has been all about being disillusioned.

(Insert God laughing here)

I never remotely enjoyed the idea of the word disillusioned (again with those Disney movies – class action suit, anyone?).  But I can say that, after years of   resisting its genuine definition, I am now a fan.

Because, guess what, kids?  To be disillusioned means that you are living a life devoid of illusions.  Not a bad place to hang out, if you ask me.

So, with this blog, let’s join in sharing the ups and downs and in-betweens of experiencing life gone retrograde. And instead of fighting it, maybe it can be something we can all not only relate to, but also a time in our lives to discover the irony, lessons, and the incredible sense of humor the Universe is just waiting to share with us…..if we stay flexible, let go, and just let It be in charge of the punch line.

And as far the next three weeks go? Step softly, carry a big stick (but try your best not to smack anyone with it), and for God’s sake, back up your computers.

All contents copyright © Life Goes Retrograde by Bernadette Bowman. All rights reserved. No part of this column or the related blogs may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the author.